Continuation - (posting as I'm writing, sorry!)

“I’m very forgettable.” I shifted uncomfortably under his penetrating gaze.

“No.” He said, softly. “No, you’re not.” His entire demeanor had softened; his eyes gentle and full of concern. “I’ve only known you a few hours – but I know I could never forget you.”

I suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable, partially because of his words but mostly because of his sudden shift in demeanor. I stood up, grabbing my back and slipping off the rock in one swift motion.

“I have to go. It’s nearly lunch time. My grandparents will be expecting me.” I hoped my lie wasn’t completely transparent. I started moving, but not in the direction of my grandparents. I simply wanted to get away, for reasons I couldn’t entirely rationalize.

“Oh! I didn’t even realize the time!” Nat exclaimed, with a look of concern flitting through his eyes. “Let me walk you home.” He was standing and at my side in an instant.

“No, no!” I tried hard to keep the words from rushing out. “You should be getting home now also. You’re foster mother will be expecting you!”

“She won’t mind. I insist, let me take you home.” Nat tried to take my arm, but I brushed it away.

“No, I insist. I can make it on my own.” I forced a smile, and looked into his eyes. “My grandparents would die of surprise if I brought home a boy!” Nat was unresponsive.

“Did I say something wrong?” He was clearly upset, and certainly knew I was lying to get away. I dropped by gaze.

“I don’t know.” I muttered quietly, before starting off again. This time, Nat did not try to stop me. Once I was sure I was out of sight, I took off running. Running through the forest without a path was exhilarating – I felt like a deer, bounding and leaping along the ground. My feet pounded, overpowering the pulsing guilt in my head. I ran – faster and faster – not caring where I was going. I splashed into the creek, turned, and continued to run through the water. The cool droplets splashed my arms and my face. Harder and harder I ran, water flying around me until I was soaked. At some point, I noticed I was crying, but I didn’t care. I kept running, leaving the creek and leaping over a fallen tree. I ran until I slipped because of the wetness of my shoes. I hit the ground hard with my knees, sprawling onto my stomach. I lay there in the brush, curled up into a ball, sobbing, my heart racing from both the run and the emotions that pulsed through my body. I cried until I had no tears left to cry. I cried for my mother, whom I missed more than any words could describe. I cried for my self, and my hopeless future. And when I thought of Nat – I cried even more for reasons I didn’t completely understand.

After my sobs calmed, my body learched and I vomited – not surprising given I was very unused to crying. Slowly, I rose to my shaky feet, looking around. My feet had carried me deep into the forest – nearly to the opposite side from my grandparents. I knew that about a mile ahead the trees would suddenly stop and give way to interstate. I walked east, neither towards the interstate or towards my house, but towards a particularly old spot of the forest. The trees here grew so high and so large that they completely obscured the sun – giving the illusion of twilight even at noon. It was deep green and very soothing. I decided this would be the best place to organize my thoughts.

I threw my backpack on the crowd, then flopped in the collection of old leaves underneath the dark canopy. I closed my eyes, deeply inhaling the musty odor of the old trees. Why had I become so hysterical? What was it about Nat that made me so uncomfortable? I had no first hand experience to consult – so I scoured my memory for similar situations – either in a book or movie – that I could use to make some sense of myself. Nothing readily came to mind, so I decided to try and pick the day apart.

I had recently been feeling very lonely – which was already a new feeling for me. I was used to feeling a sense of longing for something more – but true loneliness had been foreign to me before about a month ago. How had that started again? I thought back. The earliest recollection of this feeling had occurred about the same time my strange dreams had started – nearly a month ago. Had the dreams caused the loneliness, or had the loneliness caused the dreams? I couldn’t be sure – but it would be logical for any girl who had spent nearly sixteen years alone to start be lonely. I decided to ignore the dreams as just a product of my wild imagination and instead concentrate on my emotions. It must be perfectly normal for a girl who spent sixteen years virtually alone to start feeling lonely – especially with her birthday a week away. Teenagers were very social creatures, after all – certainly the loneliness was perfectly normal.

Almost as if an answer to prayers I didn’t realize I was praying – Nat had suddenly appeared in town. Until then, I hadn’t realized how much I longed for a companion. He and I had more in common than we would with anyone else in this God-forsaken town. It was natural that we had hit it off right away. He was so friendly, so warm – I just didn’t know how to react. Yes. That was it. I didn’t know how to react to someone being honestly compassionate towards me. I had been overwhelmed by the sudden thrill of having – well – a friend. I smiled, turning the word over in my head. I had been embarrassed, because I didn’t know how to properly return his extensions of friendship. His compassion had been so foreign, I had felt inadequate and thus my antisocial tendencies had compelled me to run. This outburst was simply a result of my sixteen years of antisocial tendencies.

I felt satisfied with myself, believing I had solved the mystery to my sudden outburst, no matter how faulty the logic – at least until a little voice in the back of my head assured me I was neglecting to acknowledge my physical attraction to him as well. Friendship was a foreign concept to me – but being attracted to someone on a deeper level, ha! No wonder I had felt overwhelmed. But no! I could not have fallen for Nat so quickly – I barely knew him! I felt angry at myself for being swept away by his blonde hair and flirtatious green eyes – so angry I felt the tears build up in my eyes again. I was embarrassed and angry at myself for being so shallow as to already have a crush on Nat. In my books, I had always hated the characters who fell for another character immediately after meeting them – especially if the person they were attracted to had any hint of being attractive. I had always written those type of characters off as shallow. I had always believed that love should come slowly, after a friendship had been firmly established. And now, I felt that I was becoming exactly what I had always hated.

And yet, those stories in which love came quickly and without justification often made for a more exciting love story. This realization seemed to calm my self-hatred, at least for a time. I scoffed at myself, knowing that I was far from being in love with Nat – so what was I so worried about? I wasn’t falling all over him – yet. I sighed, realizing I did, indeed, have a crush on him. Why did I have to be the one teenager who couldn’t be happy with that and move on?

I felt guilty for having ran away, especially now that I knew I was just being a silly girl. Still, I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to be around Nat. I wanted to get to know him and establish a friendship – and somehow a friendship established after a crush has been formed never carried as much meaning when that crush ended. I genuinely thought Nat and I could be very good friends – and so I was concerned that if I focused to much on the crush, I could be endangering the first chance I had ever had for a real friend. I stood, suddenly compelled to go see him and apologize. Flinging my back across my back, I started towards the area where I had left him, and, being anxious to see him – I again took off in a run.

While the forest was not large, I had ran a good ways during my outburst. The position of the sun through the trees let me know it had been a couple of hours since I had left Nat in the alcove. I ran faster, praying he would still be there – but knowing in my heart he probably would not be. I took a more direct route than I had taken before, so I was approaching the vicinity in about fifteen minutes. As I neared, I slowed to a walk – suddenly feeling very unsure of myself. I forced myself to keep walking, turning over what I might say if, on the off chance, Nat was still there.

As I approached, I saw Nat sitting on the boulder, his head in his hands. A pang of guilt ran through me, and my heart raced so fast I considered running away again. I closed my eyes, took a deep breathe, and reminded myself that this was my first, and possibly only, chance at a real friendship. Unsure of myself, I quietly moved into the alcove, directly in Nat’s line of vision – if he were to look up from his current position. A few steps in, Nat sensed my presence and looked up suddenly. When he saw me, he stood to his feet and moved a step or two forwards.

“Saphyre!” His voice was weak.

“I’m sorry.” I said, my voice shaking as I took a few steps towards him. “I shouldn’t have ran away. I just let my emotions get the better of me.” Our eyes locked once we were a few feet apart. “I just…”

Before I could finish my clumsy explanation, I felt his arms wrap around me in a hug. I stood still for a moment – stunned. I had known this strange boy only a few hours, and yet the action was very natural. I realized, at that moment, that we had become fast friends – suddenly very close, for no good reason other than we were compatible. I wrapped my arms around him, giving way to the embrace and the overwhelming thundering of my heart. Just as I knew Nat and I were suddenly and inexplicably good friends, I also accepted that I had a huge crush on him. I smiled, letting my head come to rest on his shoulder.

“I was so worried. I thought I’d lost you.” His voice was almost a whisper. “I’m so sorry. Please tell me what I said and I promise I’ll never say it again.” He squeezed me, and I realized our hug had transitioned into an embrace.

“You didn’t say anything wrong. It was just me, Nat. I am just so screwed up.”

“No you’re not.” He said, slowly releasing me from the embrace, much to my disappointment. He took me by the hand and led me to the rock where we had been sitting early. “What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

I took a deep breath, wondering how to phrase my explanation without revealing my newly accepted emotions. “No, I don’t mind. You deserve an explanation.” I looked down, and noticing Nat had not let go of my hand. My heart fluttered, and I struggled to focus.

“I’m sorry if I came on to strong.” Nat blurted out, almost as though it were a confession. “I was just so excited to have found someone who shares so many of my favorite things. I sometimes get attached to quick, especially if I have high expectations for the relationship.”

“It’s not your fault! I’ve never had a real friendship before. I think I felt overwhelmed by how quickly we became friends and so, I freaked – and ran.”

“I guess we both needed a moment to breathe.” Nat said, squeezing my hand. I looked up, and met his eyes with a smile.

“I’m also scared.” I confessed. Nat’s smile faded. “I’m afraid, because I’ve never had a real friend before. What if this is just a transient thing? What if tomorrow we’re both to busy to see each other – and then we forget the next day, and so on – so that this dwindles and dies?” My words started coming out quickly, as the thoughts and fears rattled off my head. I felt comfortable expressing myself to Nat, even though that comfort was completely unjustified. Subconsciously, I was hoping that if I let him know what I was feeling – he would be able to answer my questions and quell my fears. “What happens if we start back to school and you make a group of friends that you want to spend time with? I’m not welcome with any friends you would make here. We couldn’t be friends anymore. Do you have any idea how much that would hurt? To know I had a friend, and then lost him, all because the close minded freaks in this place won’t give me a chance? What if I do something to mess it up?”

Nat put a finger against my lips, calling me back to reality. He was smiling broadly. “I told you, I’m not going to forget you. And as for being to busy to see you – that isn’t going to happen for the rest of the summer. I have nothing to do, and judging by the stack of books you drug to the library today – neither are you.” I smiled. “And don’t worry about me making new friends and forgetting about you. If people in this town hate you for who you are, they will probably hate me also – we have too much in common. So you’re not going to lose me.” He grinned, mischievously. I nodded, smiling sheepishly.

“I know, I’m just being silly.” I looked away, suddenly feeling embarrassed again.

“Your fears are perfectly understandable.” He squeezed my hand again, and I suddenly realized we’d been holding hands the entire time we’d been talking. “Especially given how lonely you’ve been.”

“How’d you know…”

“It’s in your eyes, Saph. You’ve been lonely for a very long time.” I must have looked confused, because he quickly added. “Even if you never realized it.” I was quiet, considering his words and wondering if he could be right. I let my hand fall out of his. I had always had a longing for someone to share my thoughts with, but this new feeling of loneliness had an ache I had never experienced before. I nodded, slowly, in response to his words – knowing that he was probably right.

“Still – I’m sorry. For everything.”

“You’re completely forgiven.” Nat lifted my chin to smile at me. “There’s nothing to be sorry for. So, let’s get back to getting to know each other.”

“Well, you know the biggest part of my history already. What else do you want to know?” I was thankful for the lighter conversation.

“I don’t know – the normal stuff people know about one another. Like – what’s your favorite colour?”

“Green.” I smiled. “Forest green to be precise – you know, that really dark shade of green that’s still bright and friendly? The colour of the low hanging leaves of the forest in the middle of summer. I love that colour.”

“Me too.”

“What about you?”

“I don’t have a favorite, really. I like all colours.” I looked at the way he was dressed and giggled, in spite of myself.

“You like colours, and yet you’re dressed in all black?”

“Just because I like colours, doesn’t mean I like to wear them.” Nat grinned at me.

“Favorite book?” I asked.

“I could never choose.” He laughed. “And you?”

“Same. What about movie?”

“I don’t watch many. Do you have a favorite?”

I shrugged. “Not particularly. I like anything that has a sci-fi or fantasy twist, especially if it’s action packed.” I smiled. “The same goes for books.” For the first time in a very long time, I felt almost lighthearted.

“I’ll keep that in mind. What about season? Do you have a preference?”

“Winter is my favorite. Especially when there is snow.”

“Really? I prefer summer, when everything is growing and alive. It’s invigorating.”

“But the snow is so beautiful!” I exclaimed. “It makes everything look so clean and pure. It’s so peaceful.”

“Interesting.” He remarked, looking at me thoughtfully.

“What’s interesting?”

“Just an observation.” He gave me a mischevious grin. “Nothing of consequence.” I rolled my eyes.

“Tell me?”

“It’s just that – you enjoy the winter because it’s peaceful, right? Meaning it seems to calm you and bring you peace to see a snow covered landscape, right?” I nodded. “Well – it just seems to reflect on your personality, is all.”

“What do you mean, ‘reflect my personality’?”

”You seek peace.” He smiled. “At least inner peace, that is.” I paused, realizing that he was exactly right. I was constantly struggling with my emotions, seeking a way to calm myself. I loved a peaceful, serine landscape because it helped calm my inner turmoil – if only mildly.

“You’re right.” I smiled. “That is interesting. So does that mean you seek to be invigorated?” I thought about his given reason for enjoying summer. He laughed.

“In many ways, yes. I do seek excitement.” He laughed. “I suppose that’s why I was drawn to you.” I rolled my eyes again, pretending to be hurt.

“I’m not that exciting.”

“You don’t think storming off for no apparent reason doesn’t qualify as exciting?”

“I was going with disturbing.” I slipped into a half-smile. “Or at least that would be the normal response.”

“Well, I’m far from normal.” He ginned again, and I couldn’t help but grin back. His smile was absolutely infectious.

“Are you normally so talkative?”

“It depends.” He thought for a moment. “My sister says I am very outgoing. I guess she’s right – because I make friends easily. It’s just that I don’t get attached to people easily.”

“Define ‘attached’.”

“I don’t get very close to people. While I enjoy getting to know them, I tend to keep the friends I make at a distance. I guess it’s because very few people our age like the same things I do. Or at least, love them like I do. A love of books is required for me to be genuinely interested in a person. And if that same person happens to share my infatuation with nature – well, then I’m genuinely attached without having to know anything else about her.” He nudged my shoulder. “Kindred spirits are hard to find.”

“I guess.” I shrugged. “While we both like nature and books – we don’t seem to have much else in common though.” I felt my heart fall, realizing this aloud. “So maybe we’re not kindred spirits.”

“Trust me.” He lifted my face again and smiled. “There are very few people I think I could find more interesting than you. The difference in our personalities will only make our friendship more interesting.” I felt goose bumps appear on my arms at his touch. I hadn’t realized how close together we were sitting. Nat was a much more physical person than I was accustomed to. Most of the interactions I witnessed between friends had been very aloof. Nat was different, and I liked it.

Part 1

Boom. Boom. Boom.

My footsteps echoed heavily in the great stone hallway. It was unknown to me, and yet somehow familiar. As though I had seen it in a dream. I walked cautiously, as if I knew I shouldn’t be here. And yet somehow, I knew that behind the great obsideon doors at the end of the hallway was something that would shape the rest of my life.

Boom. Boom.

Slowly - Carefully, I approached the doors. The reverberating noise of my footsteps sounded like thunder amongst the lifeless stone.

Boom. Boom.

I stood before the great doors and lifted a hand to the great handle. Before I could reach it, the door started to swing open. I entered, peering around.

It was empty, except for a large chair in the front of the room.

“Hello?” My voice echoed in the lonely room. “Hello, is anyone here?”

I stepped inside a little further.

“Hello?” My voice grew a bit louder.

Crack!

The great door had shut behind me. Suddenly, I felt a presence with me. Panicked, I ran back to the door to leave, but it would not move.

“Whaaat do you seek?” Hissed a voice like a serpent. The phrase filled the room, but still, no one appeared.

“I…I seek the lost circle.” I heard myself stammer. What was I talking about? “I seek the lost circle to fulfill the great prophecy.”

I saw a shadow move through the light from a torch on the wall and turned to see if I could see a figure for the voice. From behind me I heard a voice speak in controlled rage:

“It is not yours to fulfill!” I turned to meet a hooded figure. I stepped back, he was so close to me.

He drew a sword a swung it above his head.

“Now, you will DIE seeker!” He swung the sword down full force as I ducked and turned away.

I awoke so suddenly I sprung out of bed. I was still fully clothed with a book on my chest that had fallen to the floor with my start. After catching my breath and gathering my wits, I looked at the clock.

4:30 am. Again. I sighed and walked to my window. The night was beautiful and clear.

I sat in my window seat for a moment, watching the breeze blow through the tall grass. I lived in the attic, so I had nice view of our large yard. I peered into the woods in the back of our lot - I felt them call to me. It was time for a walk.

The dream was not the first of its kind. It seemed I had been fighting with that hooded figure for months now. Normally, odd dreams would not have unnerved me – but there was something about these. They were real in a different way. I realize this seems trivial, as everyone seems to believe that their dreams are real – but I couldn’t shake the feeling that these were real in a very different way . I could feel the cold on the stone beneath my hand. I could taste the steel in the air of the blade. I would awake in pain from the battles I fought.

No, there was nothing normal about these dreams.

I slinked down the stairs as silently as possible in the old farm house. I lived with my grandparents, who had recently changed to sleeping in the back room on the ground floor of the home. I liked it this way, as I no longer had to worry about waking them if I snuck out at night. I never snuck out to go to parties or to get into that kind of trouble - the problem was that most nights I suffered from insomnia. I dealt with it by taking walks in the woods.

My favorite place on earth was the woods. It felt more to me like home than these four walls ever had. I had been fascinated by them for as long as I could remember. I would beg my grandparents to take me every day when I was young. Finally, they let me start going alone when I was seven or eight. I was so independent, and well, they didn’t really care much anyway. Not that I blamed them. At fifteen, I was just a kid with no future. I showed no interest in sports and no real interest in academics. I pushed people away, I had no friends. I resented the world because they judged me and they judged my mother, even in death. I think they would have liked me alright if I’d been like the rest of the girls my age – sweet, docile, and obedient. But that just wasn’t me.

I closed the door behind me gently. The summer air was warm and moist against my skin. I hated it. Summer meant I was even more isolated. I couldn’t get a job. I didn’t take trips. It was miserable. I preferred the snow anyway – the way it blanketed the landscape and cleared it of all impurities.

I walked across the lawn to the forest line. The moon was nearly full, so there was plenty of light to navigate. As I stepped into the trees, the temperature dropped slightly and a slight crunching of underbrush started beneath my feet. About a quarter of a mile behind my grandparents house was a small creek. If you were to wander down the creek bank, you would eventually come to a small clearing, where the stream meandered by. Under one larger tree by the water, sat a boulder that I would climb. I liked to sit and read there. I could watch animals come and drink from the stream and watch the sunlight dance on the water. It calmed my soul and helped me think.

There were two places on earth where I felt truly calm. The first, as I have already mentioned, was any place in the forest. The second was my mother’s bedroom. My mother was young when she became pregnant with me – she was actually the same age I was at this part of my life. Because she was so young, she was also weak – to weak to give birth naturally. I came unexpectedly – and she died. My grandparents were stricken with grief, understandably so. My mother was their only child. I suppose that’s part of why I had grown up feeling they resented me, even if it was only my imagination. As a product of their grief – they never cleaned out her room. It was left exactly as it had been the day she died. They kept the room locked – but sometimes my grandmother would go in and sit on her bed. It was during one of these times when I discovered the hiding place for the key. I had slept in her bed at least once a week since then. It helped me feel closer to her and thus a little less alone in the world.

I was a quiet child and an even quieter adolescent. Most of the parents of children my age knew my mother’s history. They conveniently kept their children at a distance from me, as if the daughter of a teenager carried some sort of disease. As a grew up with no real friends, I stayed that way through junior high school and what I had then experienced of high school. We lived in a small town, so everyone grew up together - friendship circles at been established in the playpen. Because I was quiet, I was never the first to make friends with the unfortunate few who had moved to town. So, I grew up and remained very lonely. I found solace in imagining myself in the stories I read and so far, that was all I found I had needed. Of late though, even the small comfort I drew from stories had started to fade. I found myself craving a companion.

I climbed up and lay on the boulder with a sigh. I peered up at the night sky through the large oak tree. The stars danced through the leaves of the tree. I took a deep breath of night air and closed my eyes, feeling more at peace. The thoughts from my dreams tried to push back into the forefront of my mind, but I took another deep breath and pushed them away. My eyes returned to the stars, exploring the constellations, tracing them with my eyes. My grandfather had taught me the basic ones when I was little. I loved the stories of their origins – stories of love, courage, and immortality. I closed my eyes again. What would it be like to be immortal? I had read so many stories of immortals – from Greek mythology to stories of vampires. Often, I dreamed of being swept away by one of these beautiful, timeless creatures. Then reality would set back in, and I would realize that these beautiful beings only existed in stories – and so I again immersed myself in books. When I read, I could become part of that world, and it was that world that I preferred. I knew it was dangerous to get so entangled in fantasy – but I couldn’t help it – it was so much better than my reality. I laughed at myself, softly, realizing that my mysterious dreams were probably a simple product of my reading addiction. I lost myself in the day dreams of my books and fell back into a gentle, dreamless sleep.

☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼

Suddenly, my eyes sprung open – but I couldn’t pin point why. I was on my feet in an instant, peering around the clearing and into the woods. I blinked in the sunlight, wondering what time it was as I tried to orient myself. I thought I saw a figure moving at the edge of the clearing, but I couldn’t be certain. I knew if I waited much longer, I risked a scolding from my grandparents. I quickly slipped off the rock and back to the house, creating a story in my head to explain my absence, if I was questioned. I decided to pretend I’d woken up early and slipped out for a quick walk before breakfast and lost track of time. As I emerged from the woods, I realized the sun had been up for a few hours – so I may have still been safe. Even so, I tried to be exceptionally quiet as I came through the back door. I paused to listen, but heard nothing so I made my way to the kitchen to make sure no one was up. I sighed with relief when I saw the vacant kitchen, knowing no one was yet awake. I crept quickly up the front stairs and into my attic, grabbed some clothes, and went back down to the second floor bathroom the shower. After I was clean and dressed, I went back downstairs to the kitchen, where my grandmother now stood over the stove cooking breakfast.

She looked up to meet me as I strolled to the refrigerator for a glass of milk.

”Pancakes okay?” She said, her voice scratchy and tired. I nodded in response, gulping down some cold milk.

“Do you want me to fix anything?” I asked, knowing the answer would be no. I burnt everything I put my hands to make – even if it never touched the oven. She shook her head. I decided to go to the den to watch some TV before breakfast. I flipped on the news and watched, disinterested, as they reported one crime after another. Soon enough, my grandmother called me back to the kitchen, then went to wake my grandfather. I had started eating as both came and sat down.

”Got any plans today?” My grandfather asked, sipping a cup of coffee.

“Nope. Need me to do anything?”

“Nope. Just don’t go to far off.” He said, diving into his breakfast. The rest of the meal passed in silence. I ate quickly, washed my dishes, and scurried back up the stairs. I slowed and stopped in front of my mother’s doorway, still painted lime green. Just as I’d been losing the comfort I received from books, I’d also started losing the comfort I derived from being close to her – or at least her past. Shaking my head, I slowly made my way up the stairs to my attic. I picked up the book I had been reading the night before. I didn’t have much left. I decided I’d finish it inside before going back out to the woods. I hoped that somehow it would help calm my longing for company.

After about an hour, I finished the book – still not pacified. I decided to go to the library and return it and a few others I’d borrowed. It was time for a new supply anyway. I threw the books into my now empty book bag, glanced in the mirror to make sure I looked presentable, and walked back down stairs. I told my grandparents I was going out before I left, but felt no obligation to tell them where. They knew I only frequented the library, school, and the forest.

Outside, the temperature had already began to rise. My hair stuck to my neck, so I pulled it up in a pony tail with a hair tie I always kept around my wrist. I crinkled my nose in hatred of summer, but still enjoyed being outdoors. Our house was on the outskirts of the small town, but it still wasn’t a far walk into the downtown area – if you would venture to call it that. “Downtown” consisted of a post office, library, grocery store, movie rental store/hunting shop, and a small boutique. The library was on our side of town – a mere 15 minute walk. It was a small library, but adequate for my tastes. The librarian and I probably would have gotten along very well, were it not for my misanthropic attitude. She smiled at me when I dropped off he books and asked if I enjoyed them. I said yes and went back to the fiction section. I took my time meandering through the many rows of books. One day, I wanted to go to a city library, where there were more books than I could read in a lifetime. I noted with sadness that I had already read most of the books on the shelves - however, the librarian was good about ordering books from other libraries when I asked. The problem was that I didn’t want a particular book – I just wanted more to browse for more opportunities to read, so it was hard to ask for something to order.

While lost in my day dream, I accidently bumped into someone as I turned the corner. I jumped, startled, as I was the only one who usually visited the library – especially during the summer. I mumbled an apology as I reached down to grab a book I had dropped, but a hand beat me to it. I looked up in surprise and met bright, lively green eyes of a boy I had never seen before. We stood up together, our eyes still locked.

“I’m sorry!” He apologized, his voice was tenor, but not to high – almost melodic. I felt my heart skip a beat, noting his attractiveness. “I didn’t see you there!” I couldn’t speak, so I simply smiled and looked away. “I don’t think we’ve met yet,” he said, handing me back my book, “I’m Nat.”

“Saphyre,” I stammered, taking my book then his extended hand. His skin was warm and soft. I tried to shake off my instant attraction, and started to move past him.

“I’m new in town,” he seemed to be stalling, as if he actually wanted to talk to me, “so I haven’t met many people yet. I thought I’d get a book to pass the time before school starts, ya know?” I lifted my eyes to examine him again. He was tall, I’d guess about 6’3”, with a lean figure. He was dressed in baggy black pants and a t-shirt displaying support for some rock band. I was taken aback by this, as punk dress was unheard of in the town. I felt my heart race again. “So - got any suggestions?”

“Depends on what you like.” I muttered, still looking him over. I heard him stifle a laugh - then realized how obviously I was staring. I blushed furiously. “I’d better get going. Sorry I ran into you.” I moved past him, but he caught my arm.

“Wait!” He laughed. “I would like your help finding a book, if you don’t mind. I saw you return a stack when you came in – so you obviously know your way around.” I grimaced. I wasn’t good with conversation – or people for that matter. I was so embarrassed by getting caught goggling over him that I wanted to disappear.

“Well, you could always ask the librarian.” I kept my voice quiet and tried to keep the discomfort out of it. Again, I started away, but he held fast to my arm. He laughed again.

“But then I would miss a chance to get to know someone my age. Come on, please?” I was trapped, so I nodded in assent slowly, kicking myself for running into him in the first place. “Great! I just want something to pass the time. It’s hard to keep busy when you don’t know anybody, ya know?” I nodded, even though I didn’t know what he was talking about. I knew everyone in this town and everyone knew me – and I was still alone. Until recently, I hadn’t found this to be a problem. “I like science fiction but I haven’t found anything yet. Do they have a pretty good selection?” I wordlessly led him down a few rows and walked to a block dedicated to sci-fi novels. I grabbed one I’d read once and thrust it into his hands, then started to walk away, anxious to get out of what I viewed as a very awkward situation.

“Hang on! I’ve read this one before!” I stopped, turning back towards him and taking the book from him. I turned it over in my hands, trying to remember the plot. I remembered thinking it was good, but lacking in substance and quality. In my haste, I hadn’t noticed what I was grabbing – but now I realized that it was a more obscure book, one not many people had heard of, much less read. If he had read it before, it suggested he was also an avid reader – something that didn’t exist beyond myself in this town.

“Did you like it?”

“It was okay. The plot line was a little weak.” He said. I smiled, inwardly, realizing we shared the same opinion of the book. I decided to put a bit more effort into the book search, suddenly eager to find out more about this stranger, even though I was still embarrassed by my awkwardness. I walked to another section and chose one of my favorites from his selected genre. “I loved that book! Do you know of anything similar?” he exclaimed, as I started to hand him the novel. This time, my inward smile showed on the outside, which he noticed immediately. “What? Did you not like it?” He seemed confused by my sudden show of emotion.

“I loved it.” My smile brightened, but I let it fade so as not to appear overly eager. Maybe, just maybe, I had found the companion I had been longing for over recent days. My heartbeat quickened at the thought of having a friend, especially one so attractive. Remembering I was still helping him with his book search, I thought for a second before I remembered that there was another book by the same author in fantasy. The two books had the same great traits, so I figured Nat wouldn’t mind. I hurried over to the other section and found the book, then handed it to him, who had followed me close behind. “It’s not sci-fi, but it’s a lot like the other one. You’ll like it.” I smiled at him, then started over to the check-out desk. In spite of my embarrassment, I was hoping he would continue to follow me.

“Thanks! I’m sure it’ll be great.” He kept pushing for conversation as he followed me. My heartbeat raced as I kept walking. “So, where are you headed?” He asked, once we were at the checkout desk. I looked up at the librarian as I handed her my card – she was smiling at me, knowingly. Without hestitation, I smiled back at her, hoping Nat wouldn’t see and be scared away.

“I like to read in the forest.” I said, trying to appear aloof. The librarian handed back my book and my card, so I turned to leave.

“Wait, what?!” He asked. “Did you say the forest?” I nodded. “Cool! I’ve been meaning to get out and explore them. I love the forest. Do you mind if I tag along?!” Bewildered by the appearance of another common interest between us, I could only nod and smile. “You’ll have to wait a minute for me to get a library card.” I shrugged and moved to stand beside him. Once he got his book checked out we turned for the door. I attempted to keep my outside appearance stoic, even though inside I felt like my heart was racing a million miles an hour. How could it be that such an attractive boy shared two things in common with me? Moreover – how could it be that he seemed to be interested in befriending me?

The forest stopped on the edge of town, not far from the library and closer than my grandparents house. I decided it would be quickest to cut through town and enter the woods on the side. I knew the woods better than anyone else in town, I felt confident of that. I could navigate them starting from anywhere, thanks to my wonderful sense of direction. I took him across the street from the library and down a street of quaint houses to the outskirts of the forest. Part of my was thrilled to have company and yet part of me was terrified – I had no idea how to make small talk and I was afraid that my lack of social skills would show. Luckily, Nat seemed very talkative.

“So, how old are you?” He started.

“15. You?”

“16.” I looked at him curiously. “I know, I look older, right?” I nodded. “I get that a lot. I wonder if we’ll be in the same grade. I’ll be a sophomore, you?”

“Same.”

“Cool! Maybe we’ll have some of the same classes.” I didn’t know what to say, so after a short pause, he started again. “So you like to read?”

“Very much.”

“Cool. I like it too.” Again, I offered nothing. He paused for a little longer, making my heart ache. I had no idea what to say. “Do you want me to leave you alone?”

“No!” I said, before I could think to control myself. I felt my cheeks flush as I shot him a glance to see him grinning.

“Well then why aren’t you talking? Are you just shy?”

“Something like that.” I felt his eyes look at me curiously, so I forced myself to continue. “I don’t talk to many people. Most people around here don’t like me much.”

“I find that hard to believe. You seem like a very nice person.”

“Well, believe it. They don’t like me, and I don’t like them.” I couldn’t help the biting tone to my words.

“Oh.” He said, suddenly confused. “Why not?”

“It’s a long story, and it doesn’t really matter much.”

“We met in a library, Saphyre. We like long stories.” I looked at him and rolled my eyes, but couldn’t help but feel a little better. We smiled at each other, but I knew the consequences of telling him my story could be disasterous to our potential friendship. Still, I knew it was better to tell him now and get it over with.

“My mother was a teenager when she had me. She wasn’t married, and she didn’t know who my father was, or if she did she wouldn’t name him. People around here thought that made her a horrible person and now think it makes me equally horrible. Apparently, teen indiscretion is some sort of disease around here. Parents kept their kids away from me, so I grew up without friends and I’m not the most personable of people anyway so I never befriended anyone who was unfortunate enough to move here.” The story came out faster than I had intended, and a little more like a confession than an explanation. I braced myself for his response, knowing it could mean the end of our intriguing relationship.

“That’s stupid.” Nat said, after a very long silence. “You’re not responsible for your mother’s actions. Even if you were – it doesn’t make her evil or anything to have a baby young. In some cultures that’s perfectly natural. So I guess people around here are very old fashioned?”

“You could say that.” I felt confused, and yet elated. No one had ever brushed my mother’s situation off as no big deal, not even my grandparents. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. “You really don’t think it’s a big deal?”

“Absolutely not! Why should I? It doesn’t affect who you are – it just explains why you are so reserved.” He smiled at me as a gawked at him. He was beautiful, and maybe not as naïve as he had first struck me. His spiky blonde hair glistened in the sunlight and his blue eyes twinkled playfully. I was relieved, elated, and for once in my life – excited.

“I guess that makes life for your mother hard, huh?” He noted.

“Well, not exactly. She died. Giving birth to me.” I said it as though it were nothing, but the look in his eyes told me he knew how much it hurt me to say it.

A simple “I’m sorry” was all he could muster.

“So, what’s your story?” I asked, anxious to change the subject. He looked at me curiously. “I told you mine.”

“Hardly all of it, I’m sure!” His eyes looked lighter again.

“No, I’m pretty boring. That’s pretty much my life story so far. Even so, you still owe me some more information about yourself.” We were nearing the outskirts of the forest by this time. It was getting very warm outside, even for the late morning. I knew Nat had to be hot in black but luckily, it was always cooler in the forest.

“Well, I’m an orphan.” He offered, but only gained a quizzical look from me. “My parents died when my sister and I were very young. We were very lucky, because a good friend of our parents raised us as her own. I don’t know where we’d be without her.”

“You have a sister?” I decided to ignore the morbid part of being an orphan, like myself.

“Twin sister, actually.”

“Cool. I guess I’ll meet her eventually?”

“Oh, so you’re not just going to ditch me in the woods somewhere?” He laughed, but his look showed he was partially serious.

“No.” I smiled, reassuringly. “I didn’t mean to make you think I didn’t like you. I’m just not used to being social.”

“Alright then.” He smiled warmly as we started into the woods. “So are we going somewhere in particular or just walking?”

“Which do you prefer?”

“Either. Why don’t we walk for a while first?” So we did. I lead him around close to my grandparents place, but carefully avoiding my special clearing. There was another place deeper in the woods where I would take him first. Even though I liked him, I didn’t want to share my special place – at least not yet. As we walked, he was uncharacteristically quiet. I figured he was probably concentrating on keeping his footing through the underbrush. I didn’t like trails, so I made my own. When I looked back, I found, to my surprise, that Nat was right behind me.

“You’re quiet all of a sudden.” I commented.

“I’m enjoying the sounds of the woods.” I paused and turned to look at him. “Back home, er, where we used to live, there was a huge forest that my sister and I grew up exploring. I’ve missed it since I’ve been here.” He smiled at me. “Why don’t we find somewhere to sit. It’s easier to talk that way.” I nodded, looking around to orient myself.

“There’s a pretty clearing about a quarter of a mile from here.” I noted, already beginning to start in that direction. I thought a large, open place might be appreciated.

“Maybe.” He said, and I stopped to look at him. He wore a half smile as he walked in front of me to lead the way. “Let’s just see where we end up if I lead.” I rolled my eyes, remembering that men have a tendency to hate taking directions.

Nat lead us through the forest in a winding fashion. It seemed to me as if he knew where he was going, but I passed it off as his familiarity with the forest in general. While I had never been to another forest, I assumed that all forests were very similar. Within a few minutes, Nat had lead us to a small, but cozy alcove near the creek that ran all the way through the forest. There were a few rocks we could sit on, one large enough for both of us. He took at seat on that one and motioned for me to come and sit next to him. Heart racing, I sat down on the opposite side of the boulder.

“Have you been here before?” He asked. I nodded.

“I’ve passed through a few times. I may have sat and read here once, but it isn’t a place that I frequent.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want to intrude in one of your private places.” I looked at him curiously.

“Thank you.” I said, realizing he probably had a “special clearing” of his own, where he came from.

“Of course.” He suddenly seemed very proper. “These are your woods, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to compete with me for space.”

“They don’t belong to me. You are welcome to go wherever you want whenever you want.” I looked around, admiring the alcove. “No one can really own nature, after all.”

“Exactly.” Nat said. “It’s nice to find someone, other than my sister, who feels that way too.”

“So why did you move here?” I asked, after a pause.

“Our guardian likes the rural life better than the city. She got a job in the city close to here, so it seemed like a nice enough fit.”

“Oh. So where were you from originally?”

“Far away.” Nat smiled, suddenly talking to no one in particular. I decided not to pry any further. We sat in silence for a minute before I slung off my backpack and lay back on the rock. After another quiet moment, Nat lay back also and closed his eyes. “It’s beautiful here.”

“Yes.” I agreed, taking in the sounds of the forest. I could hear the gently bubbling of the nearby creek, the murmur of the summer breeze through the tree tops, and the happy chirping of birds high above. “The song of the forest.” I said, softly. I looked over and noticed Nat watching me, smiling.

“Precisely.” He said, looking up at the sky again before closing his eyes. I copied his motion, breathing in the peaceful sounds around me.

“Why do you come here?” He asked, breaking the silence.

“Because if feels more like home than anything else I’ve ever know.” I admitted, as much to myself as to him. He was quiet again for a long while.

“You feel like your grandparents don’t love you, don’t you?”

“I know they love me,” I said, considering my words carefully, “but I still feel out of place with them. There is so much between us that has been left unsaid over the years. We never speak about my mother, except in arguments. It just feels so…” I paused, searching for the right word.

“Broken.” Nat finished. I looked at him, and he turned to look at me. “I know what you mean. My guardian never speaks about our parents either, even when we used to ask. It makes you feel so out of place – like you’re only there because they would feel guilty if they hadn’t taken care of you.”

“Like you’re interrupting their grief.” We were quiet again for a moment.

“It’s nice to be understood, for once.” I said softly, purposefully looking away.

“I know what you mean.” I tried to ignore Nat looking at me. I suddenly felt very emotional – but I certainly didn’t want him to see my cry. I felt him shift closer to me, as he continued, “I like you. You know what it feels like to be – alone.” The words gave me goosebumps. “It’s nice to have finally found a friend in this place.” I smiled, meeting his eyes once again.

“I know exactly what you mean.” We were quiet again for a while.

“Do you always start your friendships like this?” I asked.

“Like what?” He seemed confused.

“Like taking walks in the woods and having very personal conversations about how you’ve felt alone all your life?” I grinned, and so did he.

”Of course not. I just felt like we had a connection.” I raised an eyebrow. “Well, how many other teenagers do you know that would visit a library in the middle of summer?” I laughed.

“Alright, I see your point.”

“I have a confession to make, Saphyre.”

“Oh?”

“I ran into you on purpose.”

“What? Why?!”

“Because,” He started, carefully, “I saw all the books you were bringing back and the way you approached looking for something to read. I saw the scratches on your arms and I knew they had to be from the underbrush of the forest.” I looked at my arms – I had never noticed the scratches before. “I figured we had two of the same interests – so it was worth a shot.” Looking at him curiously, I realized how desperate he must have been for friendship.

“How long have you been in town?”

“A few days.”

“And you were already so desperate for a friend you had to crash in to me?!” I laughed, but Nat simply smiled.

“What can I say? I was anxious to make a friend in this place.” I rolled my eyes, still smiling.

“Desperate – not anxious. School starts in what – two weeks?”

“Two weeks is a long time be spend friendless and anxious in a new place. I didn’t want to get lost in the crowd of a new school and not meet anyone.”

“Right!” I scoffed, “When we start back to school – the girls are going to be all over you. You won’t give me a second thought!” The words came out as a joke, but as I said them – I realized, with a ping of regret, just how true they would be.

“I certainly doubt that,” he said with a laugh.

“I don’t.” My smile had faded, and I started to sit up. “You’re very outgoing. Everyone will love you.”

“Do you really believe that? How could I forget the person I tried so hard to get to know?” I felt Nat look at me.

“I’m very forgettable.” I shifted, uncomfortably under his gaze.

“No.” He said, softly. “No, you’re not.” His entire demeanor had softened; his eyes gentle and full of concern. “I’ve only known you a few hours – but I know I could never forget you.”